Grief calendar

game September 15 2012 Jim eating veggie burger

picked up the large book
open to your notes
future months
ending in April
your spiky handwriting

my name with things
I asked for, promised, cajoled
your voice, your smile,
I’m sobbing, for no reason
other than I miss you

I hug the book,
your voice, your smile,
still missing,
my days and nights so full
I can forgo the hours

of contemplation-
mourning is a constant litany
no longer
interspersed with anger
that you left

but rather
a silent wondering state,
anoxia, punctuated by tears
there isn’t enough fuel in air,
or food, or water that I drink…

I simply, merely, miss you

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